For my plunge into the wacky world of Linux I am using Red Hat 5.2, since it came with the book my boss bought, "Linux for Dummies". For starters this book is good. But once the install is out of the way it's not that great, since it refers to things which don't appear to be in the distribution. Mainly things that refer to X Windows, like the icons the book says to click, that don't exist. My level of experience with computers is pretty good, having been using them for 20 years now. Linux in a lot of ways reminds of the Amiga, a machine which I used for 7 years. If anyone wants to contact me: to offer advice; to comment on this column; or anything at all, you can reach me at .

Having talked about it for a couple of weeks, today was the day my boss finally bought me a hard drive. The main reason is because he wants to maybe take all the systems at work over to Linux, so I get to be the guinea pig, which is no real hardship given that I've been wanting to install Linux for over a year. Someone on IRC said they would send me a 512 meg drive they no longer wanted. This was great... except for the fact that they never did. If someone on IRC by the name of WWoods says they'll send you a hard drive, don't believe them.

My boss called about 7pm and said he had the drive, and I could go round and pick it up, so I did. I have a few weeks to get used to the system and get stuff set-up so he and the other owner of the business can come round to my place and see what they think. It felt strange walking home carrying the hard drive. I guess it's one of those things, like when you wear women's underwear and nobody... anyway, moving on. I got home, and eagerly ripped open the static bag and took the drive out. Amazing how 6.4 gigs can fit in something so small. It was then I encountered the first problem of the Linux Adventure. No documentation for the drive, and no indication on the drive as to the meaning of the jumper positions. A quick trawl of the Net turned up schematics and sketches of the jumper settings. With the sketch I was able to figure out the position for the jumpers, and low and behold, in my hands I was now holding a slave... great stuff.

I opened up my machine and fitted the drive. It came with no screws to hold it in place, so I stole one from the other drive bay. Closed the machine up, booted and entered the info into the BIOS... nothing. Hmmm... tried changing the settings in the BIOS (back to automatic). Still nothing. Stranger still, it was then that my previous experience with AST Computers came to mind.

I had purchased a CD-Writer several months previously, and discovered the lengths that some companies will go to to deter you from upgrading your machine. The drive bays at the front are welded shut! Yes, that's right. Not just held shut with clips, or screwed shut, oh no, they are welded. AST, however, didn't consider one thing. I can be a belligerent b**tard, and hacked away with a screwdriver and a hammer for over an hour until the plate came off. The drive slipped in and fit snugly. From then on it was plain sailing. On checking the jumpers on the original hard drive, and comparing it with pictures online (having now disconnected the new drive), I realised that I was right. The drive was set-up for single drive mode. Now I needed my wonderful wife's help as she has very slender fingers, and unlike me doesn't bite her nails. (I try to bite hers but she won't let me.) She carefully eased off the jumper clip, and I placed it in the Master position, then hooked up the new drive. Booted up. This time the machine booted, so it was to DOS I went, and then a quick blast with FDisk. I partitioned the drive down the middle. 3 gigs for me, 3 gigs for Linux. This was where I made my first mistake.

The mistake I made was that I partitioned and formatted the drive... What this meant was that when it was time for Linux to install, there was no room according to Disc Druid, which meant I had to leave the install and run FDISK again, deal with the first partition for Windows use, THEN go back into the install. This process took me 30 minutes to figure out, and I have to say that this was the toughest part of the install. Once the disk was partitioned (96megs for the swap partition, 500 megs for the home partition, the remainder of the 3 gigs is for root.) things were plain sailing. All my hardware was auto detected except my monitor which I had to configure manually. (Luckily I know the refresh rates so that wasn't a problem.) When it came to choosing which programs to install, as I didn't know exactly what my boss would want to see, I installed everything. Around 800 megs installed in about 15 minutes. (It was amongst all this that I set-up the account for root.) Once the system was installed, I rebooted, LILO worked just fine, then I logged in as root, configured the soundcard, made accounts for both me and my wife and that was it. My day was done. It was 3am Saturday morning and it was time to go to bed.

Today I decided it was time to check out X Windows properly, and check the first thing my boss wanted to know, that being what sort of graphics programs are available for Linux. Red Hat comes with the program GIMP which I installed and loaded. I think my boss will be pleased. GIMP is the nicest looking graphics program I've seen since the original Deluxe Paint on the Amiga. A definite winner. Of course, to have some graphics for it to play with, I had to mount my Windows drive.

This was where I encountered my first major Linux problem. (A problem I have yet to solve too.) I couldn't get the system to mount my D: drive (which is on the new hard drive). I tried everything the book mentioned, I even tried winging it... Nothing. I decided to do a test, and tried to mount my C: drive. BINGO! Mounted it first time. Oh well. I would still like to mount the D: drive, so if anyone has any ideas please let me know. For now though C: will have to suffice. I made the drive "read only" as I figured it would be far to easy to total the drive from Linux. At least this way I can download stuff in Windows and easily move it to Linux, that'll keep me going until I can get my internet connection set-up in Linux.

No Linux work today, but I did go and see The Matrix. Go and see this movie now, or as soon as it opens in your country! There, I think that says what I thought of the movie. Fantastic film.

Went to work, not much happening, boss said I could come home and figure out more of Linux. When I got home I decided to tackle two things. The second would be getting my CD ROM drive to work properly. The first would be to get my modem working and get the internet up and running. This was the first big disaster of the conversion to Linux. (No doubt some seasoned Linux vets can see this coming.)

I ran statserial on /dev/cua1... Nothing. Uh-oh! I did a bit of research, and yes, you guessed it, I have the incubus known as a WINMODEM! The cheap pieces of garbage that cheap-ass computer makers like AST use to cut costs that they then pocket rather than passing onto the consumer. I mean come on, I paid $1700 for my machine. The least I expect is for the damn modem to be a REAL modem. But no, I'm stuck with a PCTel chipset based Modem Master 6000 from Silicon Multimedia. It was this rather tragic event that explained a LOT of the instability in Windows when I'm online. I hunted around online desperately hoping that there was some solution, but as any Linux vet will know, there isn't. Winmodems are, in essence, a complete joke. Yes, effectively Winmodems come with a driver that takes up 200+ megs of HD space, that driver is known as Windows... After punching my computer and sending very nasty emails to AST, Silicom Multimedia and PCTel, I tried to calm down, but to no avail. I was and still am FUMING about this. I wouldn't mind so much if this was pointed out when I bought the machine, that's fair enough, but for AST (and it's not just them, it appears Compaq are the same) to use one of these pathetic devices strikes me as a blatant con at the expense of the consumer. I bought the machine knowing one day I would try Linux out. I know modems aren't that expensive now, but the thing is I shouldn't HAVE to purchase a new modem just because some idiots at AST cut corners and install a modem that's caused nothing but problems in the first place. I`ll end the rant here, but to ALL those people out there who have discovered too late that they have these pieces of worthless plastic and silicon in their machines, you have my sympathies. All I can suggest is writing to the same people I wrote too (in as much as the modem manufacturer... HA! If you can call them modems! The chipset maker and whoever constructed your machine). Maybe if there is enough of a backlash these conning bastards will reconsider their underhanded, low down, mean and unethical and unscrupulous business practices. Maybe people think I'm overreacting, but to not advertise the fact that you are restricted to Windows if you wish to use the enclosed modem is a blatant con. If you bought a car, then discovered you could only use Shell gasoline/petrol in it, wouldn't you be upset? Same difference. To hell with these con artists.

Having calmed down a couple of hours later, I decided it was time to tackle the next major thing. Figuring out my CD-ROM drive. A quick consultation of this sites Linux Newbies manual and I figured out how to mount the CD drive. It worked! Then I decided to try the ultimate test. A CD of various graphics, MP3's etc... That was written using the Win95 program Direct CD, a program which makes CD's which allegedly can only be read under Windows... Not so. Linux reads it fine. Unmounted it then placed an audio CD in and tried to mount. Linux complained that the disc didn't match ISO yada yada. Then I thought that maybe an audio CD doesn't need to be mounted. Jumped into X Windows, ran XCDPlayer and pressed play... And my favourite band blasted from the speakers. (Nine Inch Nails just so you know:)). Terrific! I had taken a major step, and I was very pleased.

Now, of course, there are still things I need to sort out. If anyone can help with these I would be VERY grateful. Linux has one major problem. Unusually that problem is TOO MUCH documentation. Finding specific info is like hunting for a needle in a field full of haystacks. Anyhow, if anyone can help with suggestions/tips for the following, I would be ***extremely*** grateful.

1. Figure out how to access the CD writer so I can read files on a partially written CD. Nothing I try to mount it, but on bootup Linux is not seeing the drive. I just can't figure out how to access it.

2. Get midi working. No big deal here. I run XMidi and nothing happens. I only have FM synth so no midi ranks up there with not being able to decide what socks to wear.

3. Figure out why half of the programs in X Windows, when run, don't work/nothing happens.

4. Find who invented Winmodems and kill them with extreme prejudice...

5. Then enjoy a warm tingly feeling...

6. Figure out how in Gods name you're supposed to compile a program. I've tried, and while the process went according to the documentation, I was left with nothing. The program that I was SUPPOSED to have didn't exist. (It was an MP3 player.) This is VERY frustrating. I don't know if I screwed up, or if something is wrong with the program.

7. Figure out how to compile the new 2.2 kernel (I have 2.0 something) then get the guts to do said compile.

8. Figure out how to PROPERLY install programs.

9. Figure out why the hell my D: drive won't mount.

10. Get sound working properly.

As for my next task in Linux, I really think it is 6, 7, 8 and 10. Compiling and installing. The Kernel isn't a really big deal for now as Linux is running just fine. The main thing is compiling and installing a program. Maybe sound will work okay. I just need something to TEST it with first. I guess we'll see.

Oh, and if someone out there has a REAL 28.8 modem they no longer want, I have a real good home for it. Once I can get a real modem, I can insert my Winmodem into someone at AST.

I`ll be back soon with an update as to how things are progressing. So far so good.

Stay tuned, and enjoy the Penguin.